Every woman is unique. As men, we spend our lives devising rules, divining patterns and deciphering clues. Women are the emotional representation of a lifetime of influences, impressions and relationships distilled and filtered through their own personalities. Not even Einstein could come up with an algorithm for figuring all that out.
The best bet we men can hope for is to take whatever universal building blocks there may be and use those as the foundation for our new railway to a woman’s heart.
One such foundation is religion. This is a fiercely religious land we inhabit, but the demographic is changing. More young women than ever before are changing or leaving faiths altogether. Your problem is that she still carries with her the impressions of her upbringing and her parents are still devout followers. Religion can be a contentious issue that could wear down any relationship.
What specific challenges will you face when dating a woman of faith? We’ve got a few tricks up our sleeves when it comes to interfaith dating, and while they may no be hard and fast rules to follow, they could be helpful in keeping the peace between you and your girl.
Christianity
The world of Christianity encompasses well over a billion people when you include Catholics and every type of protestant church. That being said, there’s a fairly good chance — one in six if I’ve done the math right — of being involved with a woman of the Christian persuasion. Luckily, most problems that crop up with interfaith dating in and within different strains of the Christian faith will not rear their ugly heads until the relationship gets a little more serious. Take for example when she’s looking for a white dress to wear: Until then, most concerns can be robustly glossed over. This is because the church believes that the believer sanctifies the non-believer in the relationship.
The only real concern you’ll run into in this interfaith dating world is the dreaded, “I’m saving myself for marriage.” If she was brought up in a Christian household, then she most certainly has been drilled with a sanctified version of sex. Luckily, of Christians who take a “not before marriage” pledge during their youth, 9 out of 10 will break that oath. You may be in for some waiting, but the patient are rewarded handsomely.
Mormonism
Mormonism, an outcropping of general Christianity, has some rather stringent social mores that must be upheld to reach salvation. Eating, drinking or smoking the wrong substance can cause eternal damnation for Mormons, so tread lightly. Modern Mormonism has done away with such practices as plural marriage, but they do carry a predilection for seclusion. While there are no specific proscriptions on interfaith dating, you may need to meld your life to her social interactions as opposed to her fitting yours.
Trips to Las Vegas or party destinations are basically out of the question. She can’t drink caffeine or alcohol; use any illicit substance or gamble. Your tried-and-true date ideas are going to need to be revamped and retooled. Think outside the box, or outside the house. Outdoor activities that promote health and purity will be greatly appreciated.
Judaism
Women of the Jewish faith are an enticing bunch. Faith and heritage are wrapped so tightly together and create such a robust historic tradition that one cannot help but be intrigued. While the girl you’re interested in may be very liberal (perhaps even unaware of any potential problem), when approaching a Jewish woman you’re going to have to confront family issues very early on. Interfaith dating in the Jewish faith are either forbidden (in the Orthodox tradition) or strongly frowned upon (in the reform tradition).
The historic oppression looms large in families and when a Jewish woman either leaves the faith or marries outside the faith, the result is a demographic catastrophe. Some writers and scholars have gone so far as to declare such actions tantamount to a “silent holocaust.” That’s a lot of pressure. Not just from the family, but also from the 5,000 years of faith preceding the girl you’re interested in. Good luck.
Islam
Interfaith dating in the Islamic faith is quite a challenge. Essentially, every Muslim scholar has forbade interfaith dating between a Muslim woman and any non-Muslim man. Even if you do find a woman willing to go against the teachings of her faith for love, her family may be another matter.
Muslim women are also notoriously staid. The practice of “hijab” requires that Muslim women present themselves in modest ways and act in such ways as to not publicly draw attention from men.
There are many faith-based challenges to dating a Muslim woman, but the religion is liberalizing in the West and some of the more conservative practices or beliefs may one day soften.
Hinduism
Hinduism is a world religion that is extremely humanistic in nature. Placing the Kama as one of the four central religious pursuits of man (and woman) is one practice that has spawned pseudo worship in frat houses the world over. A copy of the Kama Sutra is as ubiquitous as a picture of John Belushi wearing a sweater with “College” across the front.
Hinduism has no proscriptions on interfaith dating and above all promotes the happiness and well-being of its adherents. As such, any static you may run into would be cultural as opposed to religious. There are a few traditions to be aware of that may require a little extra planning. The devout Hindus recognize a separate calendar system; it’s used more like the Chinese calendar. While technically observed, for most day-to-day operations, the regional calendar is used.
Most major denominations of Hinduism place vegetarianism as the apogee of diet. While not always achieved, a passive, quiet respect for humanity is sometimes a difficult path to maintain for some, but will be much appreciated.
find the common bond
Religion dominates the lives of billions of women the world over; either through their own faith or through influence in the way their parents raised them. In order to fully understand the girl you’re interested in you must understand her past, and a large part of that past is influenced by religion — either directly or indirectly. Thousands upon thousands of pages of religious texts form the foundation for billions of lives; they have spawned transcendent works of charity and damnable wars. In your case, a little understanding may spare you a headache or two at least.